ASK THE COACH
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Living a Lie Inhibits Powers of Attraction
By Dr. Ray Angelini
The Saratogian
January 22, 2002
Dear Dr. Ray,
I started my own business over two years ago and am having trouble meeting the right people and finding the best opportunities for my business to grow to the level that I expected. What can do or maybe stop doing in order to draw to me the people and opportunities that I am looking for?
— R.B. in Scotia
Dear R.B.,
Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach University, coined the term "attraction" to describe one's ability to draw people and opportunities to oneself. Attraction has much more to do with internal, rather than external, qualities, and often we can inhibit our natural powers of attraction.
The most serious of these obstacles is our tendency to lie to ourselves. Being dishonest with ourselves and living a lie undermines our integrity. Anything that undermines our integrity weakens us. It is like a bucket that has a hole in the bottom of it. No matter how much water you pour in it, it is never full. That's what lying to yourself does; it prevents you from being fulfilled, thus inhibiting the natural flow of attraction.
I strongly recommend that you examine your life to determine those areas where you are not being fully honest with yourself. It is often helpful in this regard if we seek assistance from a third party, perhaps a coach, in this endeavor, as we humans are frequently masters of self-deception and often have difficulty looking at ourselves objectively. Many addiction recovery programs challenge their members to take a "fearless moral inventory."
This is vital for everyone, not just those suffering from addictions. There is a saying that "The truth will set you free, but it is likely to make you miserable first." I believe that this is the main reason why we lie to ourselves; we just don't want to feel the pain.
However, the cost of avoiding the truth grows geometrically with time, and this is true on both the individual and the collective level. In my experience, self-deception is the main cause of not attracting the people and opportunities into our life that we most desire. The longer we deceive ourselves, the more frustrated we become that we are not getting what we need and want out of life. By being honest with ourselves regarding both our assets and liabilities, we gradually remove the self-imposed filters that keep out what we most desire in our life.
So the bottom line is that in order to attract more of what you want into your life and your business, you have to get honest. It is fundamental to achieving true and lasting success and to attracting abundance into your life. When it comes to success and fulfillment, the old adage still rings true: "Honesty is the best policy."
