ASK THE COACH
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Self-care Is Essential for Moms Who Work at Home
By Dr. Ray Angelini
The Saratogian
June 13, 2002
Dear Dr. Ray,
I am a professional woman who in recent years has chosen to work at home to be more available for my two children, ages 7 and 5. While I enjoy the benefits of being more available for my children, I find it very challenging balancing the demands of motherhood and career. What would you recommend to help me achieve better balance in my life?
— J.T. in Galway
Dear J.T.,
I admire you for having the courage to take on the challenges that working at home involves. As I'm sure you are aware, being a stay-at-home, working mom presents issues that you don't encounter while working at the office. I suspect that your two greatest challenges are minimizing distractions and maintaining a reasonably high level of productivity.
With respect to minimizing distractions, I would strongly recommend that you try to get your most demanding work done while your children are in school. I realize that this is often easier said than done, especially when children are home sick of if you have a pressing deadline. However, if you can muster the self-discipline to focus on getting as much done during this time as possible, your productivity will be less likely to be adversely affected by the other demands that your children will make on your time.
I would also strongly recommend that you make yourself available to your children for at least an hour when they return home from school. Being available for them at this time will make them less demanding of your time later in the afternoon or evening when you are more likely to need time to wrap up loose ends in your business.
If you strive to meet you children's need at this critical time, they are more likely to allow you to meet yours, both personally and professionally.
Finally, and most importantly, make sure you build in time on a regular basis to meet your own needs. The chief complaint I hear from working mothers is that they have no time for themselves. Unfortunately, self-care time will not materialize magically, you must put it into your schedule.
Many working mothers feel that they are being self-indulgent if they do things for themselves, but this is far from the truth. Giving to yourself is also a gift to your children. A mother who tends her own needs is a better mother, and will also likely be more effective and productive in her career.
While working from home and raising a family is quite demanding and challenging, the rewards are also great. By following these suggestions, you will likely increase your chances of getting the best of both worlds.
