ASK THE COACH
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Developing Positive Attitude Is Key to Success
By Dr. Ray Angelini
The Saratogian
October 14, 2002
Dear Dr. Ray,
I am struggling to maintain a positive attitude with respect to some current work stressors. I find myself whining and complaining much more than usual. What would you recommend to help me gain and maintain a more positive attitude at work?
— Whining in Waterford
Dear Whining,
It is quite common for people who are struggling and stressed-out to have a negative attitude. People often mistakenly believe that success precedes a positive attitude. In my experience, the exact opposite is true!
When one asks the question, "Which came first — the positive attitude or the success?" the answer is invariably the positive attitude.
People commonly believe that adverse circumstances build character, if we allow them to. However, I firmly believe that rather than building character, adverse circumstances reveal character. Our life circumstances are what they are. There are some circumstances we can change, and some we can't. Whether you are black or white, male or female, abused or privileged, these facts cannot change.
What can and what needs to change is our attitude regarding these circumstances.
The serenity prayer is one of the most effective attitude adjusters I know of. The short version is "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to accept the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
It is indeed wisdom to be able to know the difference between those things you can change, and those you cannot. An attitude of acceptance regarding things that fall into the latter category, and an attitude of responsibility toward those that fall in the former category are the keys to developing a positive attitude.
Life becomes much easier when you decide to stop complaining. All this does is increase negative energy, which greatly interferes with your ability to be creative and successful.
Why argue from your limitations when you can create abundance? By eliminating complaining from your life, you will become more passionate and focused. You will also become better able to be more fully present in the moment, which is the place of true happiness and abundance.
It all starts with the decision to view things positively. Many people don't even recognize that being positive is a decision, but it is! It is something we consciously and actively make happen rather than something that passively happens to us. It may be difficult at first to make the decision to view things in a positive light.
Old habits do indeed die hard. However, the drive to be positive is well worth the effort, and I'm sure you'll find that a life without complaints is a life more worth living.
