ASK THE COACH
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Focus on Your Strong Points to Achieve New Year's Resolutions
By Dr. Ray Angelini
The Saratogian
January 13, 2003
Dear Dr. Ray,
Like many people, I am having difficulty keeping the New Year's resolutions I have made for myself. What would you recommend to help me be more successful in this regard?
— J.T. in Malta
Dear J.T.,
As with most new beginnings in our life, we usually start out by setting goals or making resolutions. Too often, people begin a new year by desperately trying to make up for what has been missing in the past. This approach can keep you tied to the past and result in you feeling badly about yourself. Rather than focusing on correcting what is wrong or missing in your life, it is often helpful to focus on what you've done right in the past year.
Lucille Ball said it well when she remarked, "Love yourself first and everything falls into line."
By acknowledging what you've already accomplished and who you have become over the last year, you lay a firmer foundation for success in achieving your goals and becoming more of the person you want to be in the coming year. As I have said before, all real and lasting success starts with building your character.
What qualities of character have you built in the last year? Acknowledge the progress you have made, and outline how you can build on last year's success. By focusing on character building, you will discover that setting and achieving your goals gets much easier.
As Cheryl Richardson emphasizes in her book, Life Makeovers, "A high quality life starts with a high quality you."
By focusing on improving your character, you will find the achievement of other goals to be much easier. So what quality would you like to develop over the next year? How would you like to grow?
Once you have identified the quality you'd like to focus on, write a positive affirmation in the present tense that relates to this goal. For example, if you want to overcome fear, you must write, "I am courageous and fearless."
Once you have identified your quality, write this affirmation on a piece of paper and place it in a spot where you will see it frequently during the day.
Finally, come up with at least three action steps you will take each week to develop the character quality you desire. These action steps will vary over time, but it is critical to have action steps that are present-focused and achievable.
Resolve to be a better person in 2003 by developing your character. If you do, you will undoubtedly find that the achievements of your other goals will be much more successful.
