ASK THE COACH
• • • • • • • • • • • •
Achieving a Positive Outlook
By Dr. Ray Angelini
The Saratogian
February 1, 2005
Dear Dr. Ray,
I consider myself to be a fairly optimistic person, but lately, with the war in Iraq and the overall world situation, I am finding it harder and harder to have a positive outlook. What would you recommend?
— Z.S. in Ballston Spa
Dear Z.S.,
Indeed, it is difficult to find the bright spots when viewing the current world situation. But there is hope. The late Thomas Leonard had these pearls of wisdom to offer:
-
Surround yourself with optimistic people.
We are a product of the company we keep.
Everything in the world has an energy, and it is almost impossible to stay positive if you are constantly dwelling in a negative energy field. Seek out people who demonstrate visibly optimistic attitudes and watch how they respond to adversity. You will very likely learn something. Avoid television and most media as often as possible.
Most of what is presented in the media is imbued with negativity. They tend to focus is on what is wrong with the world, rather than what is right. Endeavor to break the television habit. Read a book, listen to music, meditate, play with your children. Almost anything is more likely to leave you feeling more positive about the world than television. Learn the difference between optimism and realism.
Many people believe that optimism is foolish and that realism is more practical. While there is certainly something to be said for realism, optimism is a far more effective and enjoyable approach most of the time. Being "realistic" has stopped more people from reaching their dreams more than almost anything I know. Learn more about the psychology of optimism.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Optimism is simply a unique way of viewing the world. How and what we think creates our reality. Read up on the great optimists, they have a lot to teach us.
-
Assess your level of optimism and daily strive to increase it.
Evaluate how optimistic or pessimistic you are. In his book, Learned Optimism — How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, Dr. Martin Seligman offers ways to assess our level of optimism. Find our where you stand on the optimism continuum, and then strive to move up a couple of notches each day.
-
Take total responsibility for your life.
Responsibility and optimism go hand and hand. Responsibility helps us respond more effectively in difficult situations and helps us avoid the victim mentality. This alone is a huge factor in maintaining a more optimistic outlook.
-
Identify your core beliefs.
What we think about expands. Examine your core beliefs and attempt to change or discard those that no longer fit who you are. Our core beliefs literally run our lives, so it is vital for us to become keenly aware of what they are.
-
Eliminate everything you are tolerating.
Tolerating things in life wastes vast amounts of energy that could be used toward more productive ends. The more things you tolerate, the more negative you become. Make a list of the top ten things you are currently tolerating or procrastinating about and address them right now. You'll be glad you did.
-
Get clarity about what you truly want.
Life is all about choices, and in our society we seem to have an infinite amount of them. When you gain clarity about what you want out of life, it is easier to orient your life in that direction. Optimism can then blossom naturally because you will experience a deep sense of purpose and mission about who you are and why you are here.
-
Seek professional assistance if needed to facilitate this process.
While it is possible to take this journey on our own, it is often easier, and less painful, if we have a guide to accompany us along the way. Some form of support is strongly indicated, whether in the form of a therapist or coach, or a friend, spouse or co-worker. Having someone who is as committed to your optimism as you are (maybe even more so) will help you stay on the right track and help you become and stay optimistic sooner.
