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Staying True to Yourself
By Dr. Ray Angelini
The Saratogian
February 28, 2006
Most of us struggle to find a way to live authentic and balanced lives in our crazy, fast paced world.
The poet e.e. cummings once said, "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight; and never stop fighting!"
The key question is not whether to fight the battle, but how to fight the battle. We all are faced with the many often conflicting demands of family and career and struggle to find the right balance. However, achieving and maintaining the balance is often quite challenging given the ever-increasing demands of our daily lives.
What we really need to do is to determine what really matters in your life.
In my experience, it is not the career accomplishments that usually matter most, but rather the quality of our relationship with those we love.
It is very easy to take our intimate relationships for granted, and as we get caught up in our busy lives, it is usually those closest to us who pay the biggest price.
When work responsibilities become too demanding, it is common for us to take the path of least resistance and make excuses to those we love in the hope that they will understand. They usually do, for a while, but when this becomes the rule rather than the exception, trouble is likely to follow.
If we choose to make our relationships our highest priority, it will have to involve making different choices when it comes to our career. It might mean saying no to family, or it might mean passing up a promotion in order to avoid relocating our family.
When we choose to make our relationships priority, we usually realize that the rewards outweigh the sacrifices. Our careers are certainly important, but the satisfaction we derive from that is not likely to satisfy you in the same was as your connection with your loved ones.
Of course, many choose to make their career a priority. This too is a valid choice, but as with any other choice it has consequences. I strongly recommend you make this choice with as much awareness as possible.
Too often we make the choice to put career first, thinking that our family will be waiting for us when we retire. Sadly, this is not the case.
As I have said before, I believe it is far wiser to have your career support your lifestyle rather than have your lifestyle support your career. In the end, it comes down to a matter of priorities.
Each of us has to make our own choices as to what and who is most important to us. I believe that success involves having our investment of time and energy be congruent with our values. When it does not, unhappiness and frustration will abound.
So, reconsider your priorities now and determine for yourself what success really means to you. Once you are clear on this, then live out your values of success each day, and watch what happens.
